39 °C

Mayday Parade - Miserable At Best

Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting, go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days since I've had sleep
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

Lyrics really hit home. Hard.

Tiada kena mengena dengan yang hidup atau pun yang sudah tiada di dunia ini. =)

I'm not miserable.
Well, I dont think I am.
I feel fine.
Normal.
Emotionally, anyway.


Dude.

I read the conversation.
Frankly speaking, I didnt feel anything.
I thought when you said it was going to sting, I was prepared for the worse.
But when I read it, I didnt feel anything. Ok I guess I did feel something, just not what I thought I would feel.

I dont know whether it was because I expected it already.
Or it was the fever that was disturbing my emotional response.
Or, maybe it was simply because I got over her already.
"That quick?!" you may ask. Yeah, well, I'm questioning myself too.
Did I really like her as much? Perhaps it was just........

But one thing I dont understand. Why did you do that?
I thought I told you to take care of her?
Make her happy?
Perhaps I'm asking too much.
Perhaps you have your own reasons.
But seeing her like that sure ain't cool.



These past few days have been really shitty.

First the bleeding. Fucking impossible. I dont even know how the hell did I cut myself with my own finger nails. Talk about bad luck.
Then the fever. Yes. At times like these, influenza,h1n1 and other craps, the fever has to come NOW. Talk about being paranoid.
But no, that wasn't enough. On the same day I got the fever, I had a weird dream. I guess you can say it was a nightmare. No, its not some crap dream, this was different. I fucking shivered when I woke up. I thought I was dying for real. This is what happens if you wish that you were dying (see last post).

All this just makes me think more and more about the badluck day(birthday). I know, I know. I'm not supposed to think that. But I just cant help it.

So anyway, went to the doc.

"bkak mulut."

*opens mouth*

*after 1/2 of a second*

"ooooooooooooh..saye tau ape masalah awak."

"aik.. aku bkak mulut pn x abis lagi..conpiden je ko doc."

"tonsil awak bengkak sebelah"

Lolwut? Tonsil? Sebelah? Did I hear that right? Or was I hearing things? Considering I was semi-high at the time.

How the hell this happen? Ish.

So now I'm sick and alone.
Maybe I AM miserable.
Haha.
This is just awesome.

27/6 (birthday UiTM registration day) , COME SOONER PLEASE!